Live commentarying The Voice: 4/16/2012

Quarterfinals part 1, guys. Who else is less than thrilled at this season? Blah, blah, blah there will be somebody instantly eliminated tonight. That's lame sauce. Let's jam.

Adam Levine being not creepy.

1. Team Blake: RaeLynn is up first, and she's singing "She's Country" by Jason Aldean. I like her a little better this week. This song works for her ridiculous, over-blown country style. That said, what the hell is she singing? She just makes random vowel sounds that vaguely sound like singing. Not my favorite.

2. Team Christina: Jesse Campbell sings Beyonce's "Halo." BORING. Beyonce rarely has good song writers, and I kind of hate this song. I like that Jesse can actually reach those lower notes in his range (looking at you, RaeLynn). I love this man's voice despite the song. However, he's forced to showboat to make anything interesting happen.

3. Team Blake: Jordis Unga sings "Little Bit Stronger" by Sara Evans. I like this girl's voice. It's pure and straight forward without being weak. Really solid performance that makes emotional sense.

4. Team Christina: Ashley De La Rosa sings "Foolish Games" by Jewel, but rock style. I'm still not ready to revisit Jewel, I don't care how you rework it. Ashley has a very capable voice that plays with dynamics well. I would love to see her continue.

5. Team Blake: Erin Willet sings Adele's "Set Fire to the Rain." STOP IT WITH THE ADELE, GUYS. HER MUSIC'S TOO UBIQUITOUS TO MAKE THESE PERFORMANCES INTERESTING. Erin doesn't sound as solid as she usually does. She's consistently off-pitch, and it's a bit painful. Also, I hate this song.

6. Team Christina: Lindsey Pavao ends up singing "Part of Me" by Katy Perry. Huh. Christina keeps choosing really boring music for her team. Lindsey Lindseys the song by slowing it down and making it as morose as possible. This is what Paramore/Evanescence has wrought. However, it's working for me.

7. Team Blake: Mr. Jermaine Paul sings "Against All Odds" by Phil Collins. God, I love this song. His voice is butter, but I wish he would have kept it simpler at the beginning because the melody kind of speaks for itself. It's a perfect pop song; the only thing a singer should need to do is stay on pitch. The runs ring false, and I want to punch his vocal folds.

8. Team Christina: Chris Mann is singing "Viva La Vida" by Coldplay. CHRISTINA, what is wrong with you? This song only works because of the strings and the tempo. It's not an interesting vocal line. Bless, Chris Mann, though. He's doing his best, and I kind of like this performance despite myself. As usual, he sounds great, and we even get a smile out of him.

Instant Eliminations:
Team Christina: Christina eliminates Jesse. Frowny face. The silence in the auditorium is so haunting. He's a classy loser, even though he was one of the most consistent performers of the competition.

Team Blake: Blake ends up eliminating Jordis in order to go with America's voice a couple weeks ago. What the hell??? Adam's head shake says it all. Team Blake just became incredibly weak.

Random comments/other performances:
1. Christina decides to sing a little country and flower Blake with "male strippers." It delights me. Christina's outfit however does not.

2. Team Christina's performance of "Fighter" is way better than the past musical group performances. The team actually gets to participate in a substantial way. And I have to say the high school choir was kind of awesome, too.

3. Maroon 5 and Wiz Khalifa perform "Payphone." I'm curious where this payphone was found. In the year 2012. Then again, this could have come out 10 years ago when there were still intact payphones since it sounds like the neutered, mid-tempo rock prevalent in the early 2000s. Love the self-bleeping and Wiz Khalifa's hat, the rest is boring.

4. I love Christina's bitchface when she compliments everything but the actual voice of a contestant.

5. Boyfriend Adam emerges again, as he pinpoints mediocre performances and over-embellishments.

6. Team Blake perform "Heartache Tonight." Oh, Eagles. RaeLynn's voice almost entirely a result of her moving her head and contorting her mouth in awkward directions. I'M SORRY, I JUST DON'T LIKE HER. And compared to the other performers, she seems really immature and trying too hard. Am I being a jerk now? She's really pretty...